As some of you already know, I’m in the process of undertaking a rather massive life change; leaving a career of 11 years and a country I’ve lived in for four, to move back to the UK to focus solely on my yoga. Some people have been shocked at this decision, many surprised, and a good few excited. For me though, it’s not really been a case of making some life changing decision, more that I finally suddenly had the enormous realisation that it’s time I started following my heart and not my head for once. And so I’ve quit my English teaching job, left Malaysia and over the next year will be participating in the Forrest Yoga Mentorship scheme, and working at a studio in Dundee (which, on the subject of following your heart, just so happens to called ‘Heart Space‘!)
In a recent conversation I found myself referring to my new adventure as a kind of ‘rebirth’. It’s funny how the words just popped put of my mouth; it wasn’t something I’d previously considered, yet the more I thought about it I realised how accurately this word describes the new stage in my life…. ………rebirth/to be re-born/ to start a new life…… Only thing is though, in order to do this there also needs to be a death…the passing of your current life. So, I realised a few weeks ago that whilst I’d done a great job of organising my new life (even down to finer details of booking train tickets!), I wasn’t really doing so well at moving away from my old one. Excited in anticipation of what’s to come, but clinging like a baby koala to the comfort of my familiar life. Something had to give….
“You cannot live if you do not die psychologically every minute” Krishnamurti
Crap,yeah, he does kind of have a point…
In Forrest Yoga there’s a strong focus on evolving; taking the step(s) into becoming your truly authentic self, and this is what I hope I’m in the process of doing right now. But I guess what I’d forgotten is that in order to do this you have to just let go and embrace dancing with the unknown. In ‘Yoga and Psychotherapy’, a book I’ve recently read, the writers emphasize exactly this: authentic change really is a step into the unknown, and that the process of giving up your familiar (yet not fully authentic) life, and stepping into the unknown is actually like a death. For ultimately, in order to be reborn we must first die, and in order to die we must let go. This concept really resonated with me; enough to make me re-evaluate what I was doing to emotionally and mentally let go of the life I was preparing to leave. Of course there were still tears (saying goodbye is hard!), but I do feel that of the many times I’ve moved away from a place, this time it’s been easier to let go. As I’ve often said….”it’s time”.
So, I’m sure you’re wondering how the rebirth of Rosalind’s working out so far? To be honest, I kind feel like I’m in a chrysalis at the moment; still in process of transformation, and not sure how it’s going to all end up. But I have faith, and as we all know…. the caterpillar always becomes a butterfly 🙂 I’m looking forward to discovering my new wings (and teaching you yoga if you’re in Dundee!)
Sunrise at Doha airport – 5.45am today